I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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