ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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