You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will be naked everywhere
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
