i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize