I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
