So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
