lets start a swedish sibling band together
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
