i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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