I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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