very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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