butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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