Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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