Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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