He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
