If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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