i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
