Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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