Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
