How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize