remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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