census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What drink are we having for lunch?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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