i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
