foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
