I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
