I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mouth tastes like poor choices
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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