how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
