I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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