I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
