he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize