You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
