I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's blow job season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
