A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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