If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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