I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
