Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fill condoms, not promises.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
