THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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