THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
