I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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