Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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