what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
