Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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