So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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