We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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