Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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