just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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