KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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