I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My penis needs a shock collar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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