The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
not ubering you a puppy
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize