she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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