You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
