There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
