just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
