oh god the rape fog is back!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
