It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
