my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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