I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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