Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
