so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
