I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
